How to Be a Nerd

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Here is your informational guide on how to become a nerd written by the near perfect specimen for nerdyness.

1.The first step to becoming a nerd is choosing a favorite TV show, acceptable nerdy TV show are; Doctor Who(of course), Battlestar Galactica(My new favorite show), Sherlock(borderline nerdy), and really any other show that deals with extreme intelligence(Eureka), space/time travel, or sci-fi.  Incorrect nerdy TV shows are things like the Big Bang Theory, this cannot be your favorite nerd show.  It is a comedy, nerd shows are never comedies.

2. After choosing a TV show, the next step is choosing an obsession, while obsession is kind of a strong word for it, you do need to find a hobby.  This one you can have a lot of freedom on, it can be anythings from 3d printing(the best hobby), to record collecting, or theater.  Just pick up something that you are really interested in, common choices are computers, engineering, model planes, ect.  Unacceptable nerd hobbies are video games(while part of being a nerd is playing video games, slobs are the ones who play video games nonstop and it is their hobby.  Don't be a slob.), clothes shopping, and cooking.

3.Now it is time to choose a video game, very common nerd video games are Pokemon, Halo, and strategy based games.  You should play video games irregularly or less than a hour a day if regularly.  Don't spend to much time on video games or you will become a slob.  Don't be a slob.

4.Get good grades, you need a minium of a 3.5 GPA to be a nerd.  It's pretty simple, nerds must always try hard at everything they do even if it is boring to them. Your favorite subjects can be the arts, science or math.

Don't worry if you are missing just one of the categories you can still be a nerd, and trust me you want to be a nerd.  We have PI. Well, that was your daily dose Grant puns.  Have a great day.

Why I really don't have a girlfriend

Image Courtesy of "Mathhelper"

All my friends have been writing post about relationships, so I decided to join in on the fad.  OK, so I could blame this(why I don't have a girl friend) on a whole bunch of reasons.  However, I don't understand all of those reasons, largely because I don't understand people in general.  So, I decided to use one of the only things that I fully understand, math.  OK, so I based my thoughts off of probabilities.  I set my probability to run over a year.  In a year I am likely to meet 35 or so new females.  Now, to narrow the field.  About 5 or so of these female's genetic make-up would be to similar to mine for it to be possible for me to like them. Now I have 30 possible females left, of these about 15 of them would annoy me, or be too unintelligent for me to find attractive.

Ok, so now I have 15 left that are possible for me to find attractive.  Lets say I like a girl for about 2 months before I like someone new.  Because I am doing it over a year, this means that I would like 6 girl a year.  Lets assume that another girl has 15 boys that they could possibly like also, and that she too likes 6 people a year.  Every 2 months she has a 1/15 chance of liking me.  Which boils down to about a a 6% chance times 6 times a year,  or a 36% chance every year, but that not the end of it.  I only have a 30 or so percent chance of realizing that they like me, which is required for me to ask them out.  It comes out in the end, that I have a 12% chance a year of getting a girlfriend.

 This is where it gets odd though, over half of my friend have a girlfriend or boyfriend and lets for probabilities sake say that relationships last about 6 months, this puts the probability per year up to about 50 percent, a far cry from my measly 12% chance.  So where does this disparity between the truth and my estimate come from? I am nearly as attractive as my friends, and they are nearly as smart as I.  They are also nearly as socially awkward as I am.  I don't quite understand people so I can't say why they have partners and I don't, maybe we have a special mechanism in our limbic system that makes us like people if we know they like us.  If that is the case then possibly mine is broken.  Or, it could be that they just notice when a person likes them.

My Insane Thought #1:Matrix

Image courtesy of the "Matrix"

I'm an out there person, there is no way around this.  This idea is so out there, I even recognize that it's out there.  I think that we could live in the matrix.  It might sound crazy, but I actually have some ideas that back this thought up. So, here we go.  Allow me to first introduce what I believe said matrix would be like.  I believe that likely all the humans are real, that they are connected to the computer, for instance right now all of us could be living on very small beds with ours bodys connected to the computers through electrical signals from ours brains.  I also believe that in the purposed real world, we don't die, or maybe we live much longer, perhaps 10,000 earth years.


1. Everything unknown or seemingly wrong that we do can be explained by the matrix.  An example of this is humans brains are programmed not to kill humans, but killings animals is completely fine.  How does the matrix solve this you might be thinking?  I believe that although the humans are real,  the animals are just AI's.  So, we know not to kill humans, but animals isn't actually killing, just reseting and AI. Also god can also be explained this way.

2.There are even pixels in everything.  Well kind of, what I call pixels are atoms.  The basic building blocks of the universe I believe are the smallest registered pieces for the simulation.  Why else would there be any base unit of the universe at all.  I believe we have a base unit so we can have a computable floating point.

3. Why would the outside humans want to do this?  I have not quite decided on this one.  It could be any number of reasons, to many to say, but I will list a few possibilities.  To find our rank in the real world, it would let us find where we belong, rich poor, good, bad, really who exactly we are without wasting that much of our real lives.  It could be also used to find out who our mate is in the real world.  Our world could be used as entertainment in the form of a reality type TV show for the real world.  Our world could be a think tank among many others, we each could be faced with a separate problem, for instance our world could be used to tackel global warming, while in the real world global warming would only become a problem in 1000 years, but we are sent now to focus on it, so when it really comes, we will be ready.  Also it could be used as a mean of controlling overpopulation, send them to the matrix.

Well if you do not think I am crazy by now, you might be crazy as well.